A Scam Called Flattery: 8 Safety Nets To Safe You

  

A Scam Called Flattery: 8 Safety Nets To Safe You

Do you like being flattered?

Whether you do or don't, this anonymous scam experience will educate your mindset.

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A Flattery Scam Experience

I used to love being praised but recently it landed me in trouble.
It happened this way.
I am a trader dealing in spare parts sales. People call me by a nickname I can't repeat here for security reasons but it's a hype name I carried along from secondary school days.
My fellow traders and almost everyone knows that calling me by that heady nickname is the easiest way to get a favour from me.

I didn't know how dangerous that can be, until when some businessmen approached me with a deal.
They somehow knew my nickname and mostly used it to address me.
They were full of praises for my intelligence, told me they came to me because of my Fame as a smart and successful trader.
They way they flattered me, guy! my head was swimming in the clouds.
They made me feel so special, told me they wanted somebody like me that only me could handle the deal.
After repeated visits I started communicating  online with their head office in japan (so I thought).
I even visited their office which to my delight was not too far from my own shop.
Don't judge me I didn't just enter into any deal. They presented what I thought were genuine papers, complete with letterheads, stamps, logo.
Thinking back now I believe I didn't suspect anything because of the flattery. Everytime we met I was praised to high heavens and challenged to seize the opportunity before it was too late.
Which was to partner with them by making them my regular supplier of spare tyres. All I needed do was register with their company and pay  for the initial supply.
After that, they would supply and I pay later.
Seemed good to me, I decided to give it a shot.
I paid ₦500,000.

After payment, they disappeared.
I didn't get any supplies as promised and I couldn't get them on the phone again.
I visited their office repeatedly but now it's always locked up.
It dawned on me what I feared most so I quickly reported to the police.
I got to know afterwards that their so-called nearby office had been rented for a few weeks. The agent said he never saw them, everything was done by phone, money was sent into his account, he was asked to leave the door unlocked and retrieve the key when the rent expired.
That's how I lost five hundred thousand naira, because flattery made me to stop being careful.
Although the police grilled the rent agent and refused to believe him, nothing came out of it.
I hope somebody learns something from this.
I surely did.

            _Anonymous submission, 5 Apri, 2026.

Why Flattery Is Often A Win For Scammers

Most human beings I know or meet like to feel good about themselves.
From big to small, royalty to servants, bosses to staff, it's a common trend.
Everybody wants to hear good things about themselves.

kings love praise-singers, lovers love to be appreciated, employees love to be motivated, and so on.
Who doesn't?

Scammers are humans like the rest of us, and they know this.
They understand that for them to get under your hood they need to find out where your flattery button is located.

Believe me, they are good at that. If they are not on ground making inquiries about you before making their move (as in the story we just heard), they are online throwing their hooks indiscriminately in several directions.
They know somebody's going to bite, usually sooner than later.

1. Emotional

Flattery works in scamming because it attacks how we feel and not how we think. It makes you act on emotions and  throw logic out of the window.

2. Deception

When someone hypes you, it deceives your brain to believe they like you and are on your side.

3. Validation

Flattery is a direct bypass of your sense of reasoning and suspicion. When you are flattered, it gets you excited that someone appreciates you, and blinds you to the risks.

4. Reciprocity

When you are constantly complimented, hyped, given attention or called "Special", you will develop a sense of reciprocity and feel the need to give something back to such a person.
In short, you will be ripe for the taking, meaning you become an easy target.

5. Ego

Flattery massages your ego.
It plays on our desires for status and need  to feel good about ourselves.
A part of your mind may be telling you something feels off but your emotional high always blinds you to reality.

6. Unsuspicious

When you are constantly flattered, you don't remember to look for red flags.
While you are lost in streams of compliments and praises, you hardly recognize what warning signs look like even if they slapped you in the face.

7. Builds Fake Trust

Nothing else can create unrealistic trust the way and manner that flattery does.
Can you imagine someone always saying sweet things to you, says you are better than a million dollars, boasts to others about how "special"  you are?
Makes you feel seen, respected, and valued, right?
Guess what, that's what makes most people develop fast and unreasonable trust for wrong characters, fast enough to land them in trouble.

8 Safety Nets To Safe You

1. Don't Act On The Emotions

That's right.
Emotions can usually confuse us, land us in trouble.
If they are singing your praise even with instrumentation , that's a bad time to do anything.
You are bound to make a mistake, so wait until you can think straight outside of all that fake "motivation".

2.  Separate The Chaff From The Wheat

This means you should sort or separate the useful stuff from the useless stuff.

Recognize when praise is real and when it is fake.

Question their reality or genuineness.
Find out the real reasons and motives behind them.
Ask yourself:
What exactly do they want?
Will they still compliment me if I turn down their requests?
The truth is this: if praises disappear when you hesitate, it means they were never truthful to begin with.

3. Be Intentional

From now on, add the word "special" to your Red Flags notebook.
Anytime anyone uses it for you consider it a warning sign and refuse to allow whatever they say to go to your head.
You should run if you hear statements like these:
" You are too smart to miss this".
"This is exclusive for you."

4. Be Realistic

Not being realistic is how you fall into wahala (trouble).
We all know who and what we are, true status and all.

If we choose to believe a different evaluation about ourselves, then we make ourselves ripe for the picking for a flattery scam.  

5. Avoid Reciprocity Traps

Another safety net is this: watch what follows the compliment or praise.
If they are closely followed by a request, then you've got your red flag right there.
You should not feel indebted to give anyone anything simply because they complimented you, especially if it's followed by statements like

 "... Can you help me with...?"

6. Control Your Emotional State

Flattery works faster when you are emotionally disturbed, like being sad, lonely, broke, desperate for clients, or looking for validation.

It's usually our weakest points.
That's when you should apply more caution, shun praise-singers, seek validation through honest and transparent engagements rather than listening to flattery.

7. Be Skeptical Of Unsolicited Compliments

Stop attracting and welcoming compliments from strangers.
Suspect every unsolicited praise or commendation, especially if they are connected with your business deals or tied to subsequent requests for favour or money.
Apply this rule: if the flattery gets heavy, incessant, and obviously from over-eager characters, consider them insincere and possibly scam-intended.

8. Trust Your Insti.ncts

Instincts are not scientific but they are hardly wrong.
We just don't listen to them most of the time and pay dearly for it.
If your mind tells you something feels wrong somewhere, if something in you wonders why all the compliments and praises?
Listen to your gut feelings everytime somebody says you are the best thing to happen to them or indispensable.
Verify everything before you act. Don't let flattery dictate what you do.

Conclusion

Flattery is at best a means to deceive and dishonestly gain your favour.
At worst it is a weapon to manipulate your emotions, exploit your weaknesses, and maliciously extract money and assets from you.

If you pander to your ego, you are like a fruit ripe for plucking.
If you get high on compliments you are set up for scammers.

What's your best line of defense?

Suspect praise-worshippers, come to terms with your true status and stop listening to those who paint a fake image about you.
Most importantly, trust your instincts and act on their warning voices, at least to verify things before committing yourself.
Remember this: just because somebody sings your praise or says nice things about you doesn't mean you owe them a favour, or that they have good intentions for you.

Simple Self-Assessment Quiz:

Can You Spot The "Flattery" Scam?

How to Use:

Read each question. Circle Yes or No.

Part 1: Red Flag Habits

If you circle Yes to any of these, that’s a habit to fix now.

1. Do I trust people who compliment me a lot and say "you're different/special" very quickly? Yes / No
2. Do I believe messages that praise me and ask me to act fast? Yes / No
3. Do I share personal details or money because someone made me feel important? Yes / No
4. Do I keep conversations secret because they said "don't tell anyone"? Yes / No
5. Do I fall for celebrity videos or testimonials that praise an investment? Yes / No
6. Do I click links in emails that say "congrats, you're selected" or "exclusive offer for you"? Yes / No

Part 2: Green Flag Habits

The more Yes here, the safer you are.

1. Do I pause when someone flatters me and asks for money or action? Yes / No
2. Do I verify who is contacting me using official numbers or websites? Yes / No
3. Do I talk to someone I trust before believing big compliments or offers? Yes / No
4. Do I search the person/company name plus scam before I respond? Yes / No
5. Do I keep personal info private and avoid sending OTP, PIN, or photos? Yes / No

How To Read Your Result:

Mostly Yes in Part 1 = Danger Zone

You have habits scammers look for. Slow down and start verifying everything.

Mostly Yes in Part 2 = Safe Zone

You’re protecting yourself well. Keep these habits.

Mix of Yes in both = Caution Zone

Pick 2 habits from Part 2 and start them this week.

Quick Fix Rule:

If you feel fear, pressure, or secrecy, stop.

Call someone. Verify first, then act. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Based on reader experience shared in this article.

1. What exactly is a flattery scam?

A flattery scam is when someone uses too much praise and compliments to get you to drop your guard. Once you feel special and trusted, they ask you for money, information, or a favor.

2. How did the trader lose ₦500,000 in the story above?

Scammers found out his nickname and used it to praise him. They called him smart, successful, and "the only one" who could handle the deal. After making him feel important, they asked for an initial payment of ₦500,000 for spare tyres. After he paid, they vanished. The office was only rented for a few weeks.

3. What are the common signs that someone is using flattery to scam me?

Watch out for these:

  • Too much praise from a stranger
  • Calling you "special" or "exclusive"
  • "You are too smart to miss this" kind of lines
  • Pressure and urgency to act now
  • Compliments that are quickly followed by a request for money
  • Documents or offices that look real but cannot be properly verified
4. Why does flattery work so well on smart people?

Because it targets how you feel, not how you think. Praise makes you feel seen and valued. That good feeling can blind you to red flags and make you trust someone too quickly.

5. Is it bad to enjoy compliments?

Not at all. Compliments are normal. The problem starts when a stranger gives heavy praise and then asks for something in return. Real business deals do not need to hype you up before they work.

6. What should I do if someone is praising me and also asking for payment?

Stop. Do not decide while you are feeling excited. Take 24 hours. Verify the company, call official numbers, and talk to someone you trust. If they are real, they will still be there after you think it through.

7. How can business owners protect themselves from this?
  • Never pay money to get a contract or supply
  • Visit and verify any office physically
  • Make a personal rule: no payment without confirmed delivery
  • Do not let praise replace proper checks and due diligence
8. What should I do if I have already been scammed this way?

Report to the police right away with all your evidence: chats, receipts, and the office address. Also tell people in your trade or community so the same group cannot use the same trick on someone else.

9. Do scammers only target traders and business people?

No. They target anyone. Students, job seekers, creators, and workers. They simply look for what makes you feel good about yourself and use it.

10. What is the safest way to handle too much praise?

Ask yourself one question: What do they want from me? If the praise stops the moment you say no, then it was never real. Trust your gut. Verify everything before you commit.

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